Wedding Stress. Bridal freak outs. I’ve seen them. We all have our things. Those tiny, seemingly insignificant, naggy things that could set you off during the planning process. For me it was the possibility of rain on our wedding day.
I can’t tell you what a mind-altering moment that was for me. Everyone, weather networks, iPhone apps and all-knowing locals were calling for 110% rain. There I was speaking to my coordinator on the phone about the looming weather – something I frequently have to do for my own clients, and an overwhelming feeling of distress, regret and sorrow just flooded over me. Why did we choose THIS day? Why couldn’t we have chosen today, a beautiful day? Everyone came all the way to Maui for a tent wedding? At this precise moment I was no longer the Planner-Bride but full on Bride. Tears began to well up in my eyes and my coordinator could hear the disappointment through stifled sniffles and a cracking voice. She began to console me. I recognize that these are sometimes the very words and phrases I have used over the years to give comfort. What was happening?? I was in an alternate reality! I remember specifically telling her “I know, I know, that’s what I would tell MY brides!”. She was ME! Weirdest experience.
Once I got off the phone I quickly made my way to our room where thankfully my fiancé (Aaron) was, still finalizing his speech. I took a moment to shed some tears and asked him, “Why us? We’re good people.” To which he replied “It’s because the Universe knows that unlike other couples, we can handle it together. And all of our friends would happily dance in the rain!” That’s my Aaron. I didn’t think there’d be a more positive person than myself but I found one.
Of course there’s always a Plan B with outdoor events, but you always want Plan A. I’m thankful for finally having gone through this experience because I know that I am SO much more empathetic to my clients.
I had my minor meltdown, probably lasted for an hour tops. But after I had that moment I was completely calm right through to our entire wedding day. My wise now-hubs and coordinator had given me perspective. What I want you to take from this is that it’s ok to have that moment. It’s ok to cry it out. Just remember that you have what’s important already. Your partner, family and friends. Because of their love your wedding could literally take place anywhere and hopefully they’d follow you even if it meant dancing in the rain. But also, plan for the worst – Planner’s back! Introduce these back-up plans early in your conversations so it’s not as overwhelming when the time comes to deploy it. Hopefully your freakout will be short and sweet like mine! I know many of you are in your final months of planning so just remember to take some time to breathe. Enjoy each other’s company. Don’t skip date night. Block all the outside noise. All the outside opinions. They’re just words. Your sound mental health and love will get you through it.
So take this whole planning thing in stride. And if you ever get down and overwhelmed, give me a call.
No, it did not rain on our wedding day. Luck was definitely on our side! We had a tent put up just in case and although it irked me for awhile, it was perfect just the same. Our Aussie friend mentioned that if we didn’t have the tent it would’ve probably rained. I’d have to agree with him.